Adar: My Own Private Purim

When is Purim in 2023? March 6. That's when.


They tried to kill us. We survived! Let’s drink! In a nutshell, that’s the Purim story. In celebration we are supposed to get somewhat intoxicated, if that’s something we can do and keep our health. Some say, we should get so drunk that we can’t tell the difference between good and evil. Others say, maybe that’s a little too drunk.

In Megillah 7b of the Talmud, we read a story of Rabbah and Rabbi Zeirah who took their celebrations of Purim a little too far. Rabbah got so drunk that he lost all sense of good or evil and cut Rabbi Zeirah’s throat. What a hangover he had the next day when Rabbah woke up next to his bloodless friend. He prayed with such fervor that the good Rabbi Zeirah came back to life. The following year, when Purim rolled around again and Rabbah invited his old friend to celebrate with him, Rabbi Zeirah declined. “One miracle, okay. But a miracle every year? I don’t think I can count on that,” he told Rabbah.

My Own Private Purim

My relationship to Purim is, well, complicated.

When I was a child in an industrial metropolis on Lake Michigan -- Gary, Indiana -- I attended a gloriously messy conservative synagogue called Temple Beth-El. The congregation celebrated Purim with full-throated vigor, with costume contests, a fair, and a raucous megillah reading. I was one of many children and adults booing Haman, making noise, and just loving it. We children were the first post-Holocaust generation, born in the two decades after the end of the war. Our parents were booing a very real Haman, one whose voice they knew, whose terror they knew. Some had survived the camps. Others, like my parents, were the children of those who survived pogroms. We were all loud-mouthed immigrants in Gary. And the adults were busy having as many Jewish children as they could bear physically, financially, and emotionally. For my parents that number was 5. Purim was our holiday. It belonged to us.

We were coming back from the dead.

But who can depend on a miracle every year?

Why Do You Feel Responsible?

Much later, I had the honor to study with the amazing Matti Megged, a Jewish philosopher, writer, and educator. A friend and I would join him in his library and study texts from the Torah together. We studied slowly, spending a year on Genesis. On Purim in 1994, we were studying together when we heard the news of the massacre of Palestinian Muslims at the Cave of the Patriarch. Matti and I were heartbroken, furious, emotional.

We hoped our grief could bring those lives back. But again, our miracles were used up.

My fellow student, a good friend and non-Jew, could not understand our reaction.

Why do you feel so responsible? she asked.

How could we not? we answered. This is what it means to be Jewish, what it means to be part of a minoritized group. It's hard, almost impossible, to separate one's own identity from that of others. Some of us feel responsible even for the very worst of us -- especially for the very worst.

After that day, I could not celebrate Purim. I couldn't help but wonder about the 70,000 collaborators with Haman who were killed. Was that really necessary?

And now... now with fascism on the rise and being accepted as normal and inevitable, I wonder again. Will I learn the lesson that Jews and other minoritized and marginalized groups have learned over millennia: to know when to flee and when to hide and when to fight?

And Yet...

I am left with a new Purim question. What does it mean that Haman's grandchildren studied Talmud? (Thanks Sefaria, for these strange tidbits of info!) I am the generation of Haman's grandchildren. And I too have studied with them: with the son and grandchild of Nazis. They are among my favorite people in the entire wide world: warrior scholars who have dedicated their lives to the struggle against anti-semitism, anti-Black racism, and injustice. Did those who studied with Haman's grandchildren feel even half of the love and respect I feel for my dear friends?



On Purim from the Artist

Image by Ali Shrago-Spechler, who writes:

"It is said that during Adar, we are to view and experience the world with a deep consideration of all of its quirkiness and contradictions. On Purim, we dress as our enemies and get so drunk that we cannot distinguish between evil Haman and the brave Mordecai. For this reason, I have decided to take a closer look at the topsy-turvy nature of the Purim story and have created an image that shows Vashti and Esther, the two feminist heroes of the narrative, mourning over the death of Haman's 10 sons mentioned at the end of the story. Offering a twist from the Bible Esther who insisted on hanging Haman's sons, I wanted to use my work to not only consider these acts of violent retribution, but to offer a notion of soft mourning and regret."





Acknowledgments to the US-Based Radical Jewish Calendar

The Ma’agal calendar team owes a debt of gratitude to the Radical Jewish Calendar. In our excitement to get Ma’agal ready, we neglected to acknowledge the inspiration we gained from the Radical Jewish Calendar.

We are a small, emerging collective who have never worked together before as a group, with  different backgrounds, languages and locations across Europe. We brought so many different points of view and inspirations to our work together, For a couple of us, Radical Jewish Calendar sparked a flame that came into our work together. In our haste to begin our work and the excitement of getting to know each other as a team, we forgot to make sure that we had reached out to the team behind that calendar. When they let us know of our breach, we were genuinely surprised and apologetic.

We see them as one of the numerous, beautiful inspirations alongside many other wonderful radical Jewish projects around the world.  We acknowledge their achievements and apologize for not having done so sooner. If you’d like to buy a copy of their calendar, this link will take you to their shop. 

You can also follow them on Instagram: @radicaljewishcalendar


The Ma’agal Team

Ma'agal on 'Simcha a Celebration of Life' South Africa TV

Ma’agal co-founders Sophie Bigot-Goldblum and Lievnath Faber discuss the Jewish calendar and Ma’agal in particular. Here they are talking about the artists who contributed, the ideas behind the making of the calendar, and some of the dates we are honoring.

“We picked the name Ma’agal because of the centrality of of the circular aspect of time and in Judaism. Ma’agal means a circle in Hebrew…”

Smiling, long-haired, white woman in a knit cap.

Artist: Naomi Henkel-Guembel

Naomi Henkel-Guembel grew up in Germany before immigrating to Israel. She holds a degree in psychology from the IDC Herzliya, is a trained therapist, and an aspiring rabbi. For years, Naomi has been involved with community development in Tel Aviv and Berlin. She co-initiated the Festival of Resilience, which is held jointly with other survivors of and those affected by right-wing extremist attacks, as well as activists inside and outside of the Jewish community.

Artist: Stuart Acker Holt

Stuart Acker Holt is a British born film-maker and journalist based in Amsterdam.

After studying Music at University of Newcastle upon Tyne, Stuart went on to lecture in Film Music at Chichester University. During this time he created the ‘Expressing Computers’ lecture series with film-makers and composers presenting live audio-visual work. This opened the doors to inspiring partnerships and creative collaborations in photography and film. In 2020 he released his new film For The Record, which was selected for the Crystal Palace International Film Festival in London, as well as festivals in Berlin and The Hague. Aside from Stuart’s creative projects he teaches journalism at Fontys University in Tilburg.

Artist: Niv Cohen

Niv Cohen (1980) is an Amsterdam based artist, born and raised in Tel Aviv. His work consists of sculptures that are assembled from discarded items and collages made of his own sketches. His art deals with critical questions around Judaism, minority groups in society and in/exclusion of the other.

Artist: Jacqueline Nicholls

Jacqueline Nicholls is a London based visual artist, visual poet and educator whose art practice engages with traditional Jewish texts using a variety of media. She is interested in handwriting as a form of drawing, the relationship with writing and bookhood, language and our bodies. She’s interested in the emotional affect when writing and speech collapse into illegibility and silence, and yet still call to be read and heard. Her Draw Yomi project, she followed the daf yomi cycle of learning a page of talmud a day, and responded with a daily drawing. She has an MA in Fine Art from Central Saint Martins, London. Jacqueline’s work is held in public (ANU Museum Tel Aviv, Israel, Ben Uri Gallery London, UK, John Rylands Library Manchester, UK) and private collections.

Artist: Ali Shrago-Spechler

Ali Shrago-Spechler is an interdisciplinary artist whose installations, paintings and performances examine the malleability of history and imagined community. Her hybrid actions explore the comedy, violence and ubiquity of Jewish histories while creating a familiar and strange space for her audience. Ali is a Fulbright Scholar (Germany 2020-21) and the recipient of the Naomi Anolic Emerging Artist Award. She has participated in residencies at Mass MoCA, ProjectArt in Crown Heights, Art Kibbutz NY, Vermont Studio Center, Art Cube Artist Studios in Jerusalem and Trestle Artist Space. Her work has been featured in the NY Times, Time Out NY, VICE, The Forward, New Times Broward, The Miami Herald and ArtNet News. She received her BFA in Painting and Art History from Pratt Institute and her MFA from the School of Visual Arts in New York City.

Artist: Yael Roberts

Yael Roberts is an artist and educator living and working in London. In her studio, she prints from found objects to create large-scale installations exploring nature, myth, and place. She loves learning and teaching chassidut and bringing its relevance to the times we find ourselves in and to the creative process.

Artist: Sandra Yerushalmi

Sandra is inspired by many cultural international influences: her Sephardic Jewish identity, her trips in India, and her international encounters bring her to incorporate Hebrew calligraphy, Indian mandalas or North African arts in her artwork.

Both a Jewish professional and an activist, Sandra is a member of ROI Community, Paideia, Moishe House, Yesod Community Institute, etc.